Make the hand

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Val. «Fer la mà»

This vulgar expression means to masturbate, to wank off, when talking about men. Another expression very usual in Valencian comes from this: ‘Anar a fer la mà’ (To go and make the hand), used in the imperative form ―Vés a fer la mà― is a vulgar expression of disapproval and annoyance, similar to the English expressions ‘Go and jump in a lake’, or ‘Go to hell’. Then, you send somebody to make the hand when you are fed up with him/her. Of course, the degree of seriousness of the sentence depends on the tone of your voice, as many other expressions and interjections, for instance Xe.

On its turn, the set-phrase ‘a fer la mà’ can be used in an enormous variety of contexts (all of them colloquial or vulgar), having diferents shades of meaning. Hereunder you have some of the most used, with examples:

1) Eixe poble està a fer la mà - That village is miles away (= a long distance)

2) Va vindre la policia, i la festa se n’anà a fer la mà - The police came, so the party went up the creek (= end up in failure or disaster)

3) Pots deixar de fer la mà amb la piloteta? – Could you stop bothering with that little ball? (= horse around, bother)

4) Haver de llegir l’obra completa de Josep Pla en una setmana és un fer la mà – It is a tough task to read the complete works of Josep Pla in a week (= a harsh, tough activity)

5) A fer la mà el teu examen de trompeta, vull dormir! - To hell with your trumpet exam, I want to sleep!

To have a tinned mouth

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Val. «Tindre la boca llandada*»

It is said of people that are able to eat a very hot meal without apparently feeling its heat. This expression means that they have no sensitivity in their tongues, as if these were not made out of human flesh. It is usually said of people who have the bad habit of devouring instead of savouring the food.

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Es diu de una persona té la boca llandada (o és bocallanda) quan pareix que no tinga sensibilitat en la boca, que menja sense que aparentment li afecte l’excessiva escalfor o gelor de la vianda en qüestió. Se sol dir de qui té el costum de menjar massa ràpid, sense assaborir el menjar.

Example:

Val. Alena no et cremes! Per l’amor de Déu, tens la boca llandada!

Eng. Stop to breath, please, you’re gonna get scalded! For God’s sake, you have a tinned mouth!

* pronounced /llandà/ in spontaneous speech

Her fig is clapping her hands

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Val. «La figa li fa palmes»

This comment is said to remark that a girl or a woman is getting aroused. It is especially used when somebody notices that a woman feels attracted to a guy (or a girl). This can be deduced from her behaviour or from a gossip.

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Este comentari se sol fer quan es nota que una xica se sent sexualment atreta per algú. Això es pot deduir pel seu comportament, pel xafardeig que nos ha contat algú, etcètera.

Linguistic clarifications:

1) Remember that the word ‘fig’ in Valencian is synonym for ‘cunt’ (woman vagina). Obviously, a vagina doesn’t have any ‘hands’ to clap with, but still, for sure you can guess the metaphor of a vagina applauding.

2) Even though nowadays the word ‘palmell’ and the expression ‘picar de mans’ is preferred to mean ‘clap one’s hands’, the archaic word ‘palma’ is still widely used in Valencian, as well as set-phrases like ‘tocar les palmes’ o ‘batre les palmes’.

Does your mother make a hole when she is pissing?

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Val.: «Ta mare quan pixa fa clotet?»

This rethorical question is made when one begins to be upset and disturbed by somebody’s comments that are making fun of him and meddling in his private life, when a joke is lasting for too long and one becomes to be annoyed. Then he/she makes this harsh comment in order to restore seriousness.

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Esta ‘pregunta retòrica’ es formula quan una persona comença a molestar-se pels comentaris d’un altre que es burla d’ell, quan la persona troba que ja n’hi ha prou de bromes, que s’estan ficant en la seua vida privada i ja s’ha d’acabar la befa. Llavors fa eixe comentari tallant per a restablir la serietat.

Whisperings in the group are not good manners

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Val.: «Escoltetes en reunió són de mala educació»

It means that it is bad manners to whisper at somebody’s ear, and people around you realise that you have something to hide, that maybe you are speaking badly of them.

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Vol dir que és de mala educació xiuxiuejar a l’orella d'un altre quan hi ha més gent davant, perquè ells se n’adonaran i pensaran que tens alguna cosa a amagar o que estàs parlant malament d’ells o criticant-los.

By Saint John’s day, ripe or unripe, figs for sure!

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Val. «Per Sant Joan bacores, verdes o madures, bacores segures!»

Este refrany nos recorda que comencen a haver bacores al començament de l’estiu, pel dia de Sant Joan, el vint-i-tres de juny.

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This saying reminds us that figs start making a showing at the beginning of the summer, by Saint John’s day, that is, June 23th.

To be sown

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Val. «Estar sembrat»

Es diu quan una persona està contenta per alguna cosa i es torna extravertida, expressa la seua alegria de manera activa. Es nota que està inspirada, sorprenent, divertida, aporta vida a la conversació, conta acudits, etcètera.

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It is said when a person is, for some reason, very happy, and he/she expresses his joy actively. One notices that he is inspired, surprising, fun; he livens up the conversation, telling jokes, etc.